This week is Mental Health Awareness week 2024. I created a post with a grounding activity to help change the focus from whatever is making you feel stressed. I've realised that I too should be doing something to calm my mental health!
The past fortnight has been hard due to my gynae issues flaring up. My whole abdomen and bladder are causing me so much pain. I try to keep track of my cycle but it doesn't really help as the pain just pops up out of nowhere (not great when you're trying to get stuff done).
I'm currently waiting for a surgery date (surgery number 11). I spoke to my consultant last week and he reminded me that I have 'severe adenomyosis, extensive endometriosis along with fibroids'. Hearing those words just reminds me of how much I'm trying to cope with.
It's not just my gynae issues though. There's the pesky issue of my dwindling fertility. My husband and I are still on the waiting list for an egg donor. We've been trying to start a family for over 10 years now and have 4 failed rounds of IVF to show for it. Pregnancy announcements are of course very exciting but recently I've found them really triggering. I've felt so guilty for feeling like this but I honestly feel so sorry for myself and that my body has let me down (or I've let my body down). I've wanted to have that skin to skin experience of holding my own baby for so long now.
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. My mum's dementia means that sometimes she's ok but at other times she can be extremely upset and stressed. On one day last week she said she was so happy to see me but then on another day she was screaming and shouting at me while swearing at my dad. She was in tears. We should be used to it now but I have to admit that it's still hard. As a family, we don't want mum to go into a care home and she definitely doesn't want that either. It could make things so much worse. We're very lucky that mum has a team of carers. I feel guilty if I can't be there for my dad all the time. My gynae issues make it difficult.
The positives are that I joined a local support group through Endometriosis UK and I'll be at my second adenomyosis support group tomorrow c/o The Adeno Gang. I feel a bit like I've found my tribe(s) as these groups know what I'm going through.
This post is my reminder that I (and you) need to prioritise mental health.
#mentalhealthawarenessweek2024 #IVFnotgotthis #Infertility #Endometriosis #Adenomyosis #Fibroids #Dementia #Lewybody
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