"Fertility clinics can be very positive when you go for treatment but at what cost?"
This is a hard post ...
A few weeks ago, my husband and I decided to end our fertility journey. I had been thinking about it for a while.
We are both heartbroken but it’s been 12 years of pain and constant grief as we’ve had 4 failed IVF cycles.
I was adamant that I wanted to do 5th round but after suffering a breakdown a few weeks ago because I’m overwhelmed (my mum has lewy body dementia), I realised that mentally I’m really struggling. I have started therapy with a trauma counsellor so hopefully it will help.
Unfortunately, this week I found out that I will need a hysterectomy as my uterus is just full of endometriosis, adenomyosis, adhesions and a large cyst (possibly a fibroid). My uterus has no healthy areas (and maybe it never did). I feel like I have completely failed to do something I was born to do.
Fertility clinics can be very positive when you go for treatment, which is good in some ways but at what cost? For me, the cost was too much mentally, physically and not to mention financially.
I am still an advocate for women’s health (100%), and will keep writing my blog to help others, so nothing will change there. It’s just that my own journey has now taken a different route and I may be a bit quiet during/after my 11th and final surgery next month.
I am so grateful for everyone’s support so far. My husband and I (and Milo our dog) are navigating this as a team.
From Laura x
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